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3 good manners of male penis:
-Courteous-it stands before performing.
-Emotional-it cries during the performance.
-Polite-it bows down after the performance.
Learn from your parents' mistakes - Use birth control!
Man says to his wife: Let me take a picture of your breasts, than I can always look at them. Wife: Let me take a picture of you penis, I will have it enlarged.
Today, in style are small cars, watches, skirts and mobile-phones... It will come the time when SMALL PENIS will be in style, and then you will be the man!!!
What’s hairy on the outside and moist inside, begins with a 'C' ends with a 'T' and has U' and 'N' in the middle? Answer: 'COCUNUT'
Wat's the diff between pulling a curtain and a panty? ANS: When U pull a curtain, it means tat the show is over. But pulling down a panty means IT'S SHOWTIME!
What did the blonde's left leg say to her right leg? Between the two of us, we can make a lot of money.
When im dead and in my grave, no more pussy i will crave. And upon my headstone will be seen, here lies the bones of a f**king machine.
Press down... down more... Ok more... YES ahh ohh yes... almost there... yeah oh shit harder... SO GOOD...! mmmmm... That's how I sex on text!
Man1: my wife is obsess with cars. While asleep, she holds my bird & say 'Ferari,Porsche...' Man2: mine is worst, she puts my bird inside her & says 'Full Tank pls.'
A girl asked, why do cows seem depressed when being milked? Teacher: if every morning they rubbed yours 4 30 minutes and didn't f**k u, u would feel the same!
How do you keep 4 blondes entertained in a bar? Turn the bar stool upside down.
CUSTOMER NOTIFICATION. As of May 2001 Viagra will only be available through chemists by its chemical name.So please ask for MYCOXAFLOPPIN. Thank you
Do you like maths, if so add a bed, subtract ur clothes, divide your legs and we can multiply!
*NEWSFLASH* Snow white had been chucked out of Disney Land. She was reported 2 hav pulled up her skirt, sat on Pinnochio's face and shouted, 'LIE BASTARD LIE'
I realy, deeply wish dat u wer ere wif me in my room, on my bed & lights off & we get unda da cover 2geva.. 2 show u my.. new watch dat glows in da dark
Penis & Balls arguing. Balls: Hey, U r very unfair! Everytime u go in u never bring us along, only u enjoy! Penis: Eh, U think its fun? I always keep vomiting!
Last night I desperately missed you I wanted to feel u on my naked body. I had to go to bed without you....where are u stupid pyjamas.....!
I love the way it rubs against the soft pink flesh.. and creates a creamy foamy liquid as it thrusts in and out, up and down... Can’t wait to brush my teeth
I wish I were a ring Upon my girlfriend's hand, 'Cause everytime she'd wipe her rear I'd see the promised land....
What is the dumbest part on a man's body? The penis. It has a head with no brain, it hangs out with two nuts and it lives around the corner from an asshole!
What did one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob? If we don't get some support people are going to think we're nuts!
What did the hurricane say to the palm tree? Hold on to your nuts. This is no ordinary blow job!
What did the Dick say to the Condom? 'Cover me!!! I'm going in...'
I'd willingly fertilize Mary, And watch for 9 months her shape vary, From the very first day, To the child-birth display, When her tits would turn into a dairy.
Suspense how do you keep an idiot in suspense ??? ............. ............ ...tell you later !!!
Statistics At this moment 5 million are having sex 2 million are in gun fights 91milliom at a party and one sad fucker is reading this SMS
Farmer Joneshas got no sheep,
isn't life a drag?
coz they're all burning in a field
he's got no sheep to shag
Gary Gliter *Newsflash*
The FA have just announced garly gliter the next England Coach.
The appontment collapsed after he tried to put seaman in the under 15's
Ba Ba White Sheep ba ba white sheep grazing on sum grass when a maff official shoots it up the ass burnt by mornin fumes fill the sky less meat 4 kebabs & shepherds pie
There was a young girl called heather,whos cunt lips were made of leather they made a strange noise that attracted the boys by flapping the edges together
little miss drugy sat in a buggy smoking a pipe of weed along came a spider skinned up beside her and sold her some acid and speed.
Jack and Jill Jack & Jill went 2 the dairy, Jack popped out his big'n airy, Jill said "WOW WOT A WHOPPER let's go home & DO IT PROPER
what do you do if a irish man through's a pin at you ... ... you run cause he's got a grenade in his mouth
There was a young girl from Wick, who asked her mum what's a prick, her mother said Annie it goes up your fanny and jumps up and down till it's sick.
This is a cock sucker detector
Please blow in the phone..... .. scanning....
The test was positive 90percent sperm breath...
COCK SUCKER !!
what does a vagina look like before sex?
A pink rose with loveley details.
And after sex?
Boy, ever seen a bulldog eating maiyonnaise?
Bad wolf told red riding hood. Lift your top so i can suck your tits.
No she said lifting her skirt.
Eat me like the fucking book says!
sex is good sex is funny many people fuck for money
but if you think sex is funny fuck yourself and safe your money
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